I am transferring my blog post from Live Journal over here to Blogger. I will start with the newest first so that the last post I post will be the oldest one from LJ. That way you can scroll down and read it in order. 2008 to 2009
May 27, 2008
First Blog post on Live Journal
mmm...my first post. I am still figuring out how this works. I am familiar with posting blogs on MySpace. But I am having problems figuring out how to insert photos. I tried for an hour and no luck. It shouldn't be this hard. I love to see lots of photos on a blog.
I will try again right now.................
This is my daughter Sierra. I lost her a year ago. She was my only daughter and I do miss her so so much. She was 23 when she died by a gunshot to her beautiful head. It's so sad. Her little daughter Peanut is living with me now. We are taking each day one at a time. Life is certainly changing for us. Here we are...
We were dressed for Halloween. On this night 10/31/06 my daughter was taking the photo. Then my daughter Sierra, Peanut and I walked around my neighborhood to trick or treat.
Sierra and I had several good times like that before she died Jan. 2007.
I miss her so. I do not understand why she was the one person out of hundreds or thousands who would die by a gunshot. We are not gun people. I never had handguns in the house ever, never in all my life. She only had that gun in her house for 3 weeks before a fight broke out between her and her boyfriend. No one is sure what happened. The police think the boyfriend is responsible. The coroner put gun shot wound to the head. But it is the boyfriends word of what happened on that day. Peanut saw and heard the fight. She was watching from her room when the gun went off. I think her dad was blocking her view of the gun so she only knows what he told her happened. She was only 5 years old. What a horrible tragedy to have in a young girls life.
This beautiful granddaughter is living with me now. I am in a guardianship case trying to get full custody. For more than a year I have been in and out of court. I finally got Temporary custody on 10/30/2007. What a long wait.
It is not an easy road. Peanut is in therapy now. We are both grieving so much. But we are having good times. We took a trip to Idaho 2 weeks ago. My son Dustin, her uncle, got married. He lives in Idaho. Peanut and I have a goal to move to Idaho before the end of this year.
My new love is WOOL and KNITTING!!!!! more on that in the next blog.
Today and everyday, I thank God for carrying me this far in my grief journey. He has taken my burden. On days that I have a very heavy heart is usually when I have not looked at the LORD to give him praise for blessing me with my children, Peanut, a home, food, clothing, love and good friends. I have a lot to be thankful for.
Seven years ago my handsome, wonderful, hardworking husband died of cancer. I miss him so much. He never knew his grandchildren. He was my high school sweetheart. We were married 28 years. I was 45 and he was 47 when he died. I believe he is in heaven holding our daughter in his arms. God bless my family in Heaven.
So there is my first POST on Live Journal.
Yeah.....I'm glad to be here!!!!!!
I am transferring my blog post from Live Journal over here to Blogger. I will start with the newest first so that the last post I post will be the oldest one from LJ. That way you can scroll down and read it in order. 2008 to 2009
May 28, 2008 Fairy Wings
My sister and I worked on our costumes together at my house. It was so much fun.
We did this for Halloween 2006. That was a special Halloween. My granddaughter came over in the evening....
This turned out to be the last time my daughter Sierra and I could take Peanut trick or treating, because Sierra died 3 months later.
So regarding the fairy costume, I bought the wings at Walmart of all places. First I tried to put holes in the wings with a flame but that was too harsh so I got some incense that was a stick. I lit it and then it had a burning coal at the end. A cigarette could do the same but I don't smoke.
So I burnt holes here and there. The burning melts the edges so they don't unravel. And it looks cool. Then I got out my watercolor paints and I painted the wings with violets and blues and reds. The wings were a light green color.
After they dried, I put some fabric paint from a squeeze tube with glitter around each hole that I had made. Then when that was dry I sprayed glitter on all of the wings.
The costume is a skirt made with soft fabric of purple and greens. I had a long ribbon waist band and sewed petal shapes to the ribbon, then tied the ribbon around my waist. Under the skirt I had on the tights and some exersice shorts. For the top I wore an embroidered tank top that had little roses on it and a sheer long sleeve shirt and then over that I wore a purple vest that laced up on each side, front and back.
I made my wreath for my head with wire and hot glued ivy and flowers, then added a dragonfly, bird, and lots of ribbons down the back.
So that was my winning costume at work. I won a gift card to Home Depot for $50. I liked that.
Then I kept on the costume and wore it to trick or treat around my neighborhood with my granddaughter, as me and my daughter Sierra took her around. We had a nice visit as we walked that night.
I am transferring my blog post from Live Journal over here to Blogger. I will start with the newest first so that the last post I post will be the oldest one from LJ. That way you can scroll down and read it in order. 2008 to 2009.
June 1, 2008 MOTHS!
Yesterday my sister and I moved a cedar chest to my living room. I wanted to put my stash of wool yarn into it.
I'm so freaked out right now. This is a cedar chest I got from my mom. I have had this chest in a bedroom for about 4 years. And all that I have had in it was photo albums and a few cotton doll dresses, a wool hat, and an old old patchwork baby quilt. The chest was pretty empty. My mission was to clean out mom's stuff and put in mine.
So today I brought out my box of Wool Stash to put into this chest.
I just began buying wool for about 2 months now.
I opened the chest, and there on the wool hat was LARVAE. I am sure they are moth larvae.
Ewwww Ewwwww ewwwwww!!!!! I took the cloth things outside and smashed anything and everything I saw. Then I shook out everything.
I came in and washed my hands 100 times.
I put the stuff back in the chest and closed it up.
My wool stash stayed in their Zip lock bags.
I thought cedar was a wood that kept moths out. I'm so freaked.
Do I need to take the chest outside and spray it with bug spray?
How could I throw out all the paper stuff when the paper is photo album pages with photos from the 40's, 50's & 60's?
I don't know what to do. I haven't seen the moth larvae in anyplace of my house ever. My house is new, built in 2001.
Help. Any advice is appreciated. Please? HELP. Ahhhhhhhhh
I'm in moth hell.
I am transferring my blog post from Live Journal over here to Blogger. I will start with the newest first so that the last post I post will be the oldest one from LJ. That way you can scroll down and read it in order.
January 14, 2009
I have the best news ever. Yesterday I had court for the guardianship of my granddaughter Peanut. I filed for guardianship right after my daughter Sierra died. It has almost been 2 years since she died. Next Monday the 19th will be the anniversary.
I have been in and out of court for the last 2 years. In the beginning Alexis was with her dad. Then on Oct. 30, 2007 the judge granted me temporary guardianship. This was wonderful. Alexis came to live with me on that day.
Now on January 13, 2009 The judge gave me the PERMANENT Guardianship. It was so fantastic.
In the same court house, on the second floor (I was on the 3rd floor), the father was being sentenced for cultivation.
He did have 6 felony counts but 5 were dismissed in a plea bargain. He was in criminal court for his sentencing. He got 365 days in county jail and 36 months of probation. He had court again in February for restitution for stealing electricity.
So we waited on the 3rd floor for his appearance. He came up with his lawyer. There was an extra sheriff too. We had our turn with the judge. The fathers lawyer always says mean and horrible things and he did it again. He always brings up my daughters death. He is so unfeeling like she was no one. He says every time in open court that she was a suicide, which I don't believe she was. This lawyer had said to my lawyer, a month after Sierras death, that he was gearing up for a murder trial. His client, the dad, Chris, was going to be facing murder charges. It all changed when the district attorney declined to go forward with the case.
In court also this attorney told the judge that he wants a new therapist for Alexis. His reason, Last week when we were in a therapy session, the father called. (he has phone visits monitored, recorded during the therapy sessions) and when Peanut got on the phone she asked him, "did you shoot my mommy?" She said this about 4 times because her dad would not give an answer. This was totally from her mind. She wants to know. No one put the words in her mouth. I was surprised when I heard her ask that question. So anyway, in court the father's attorney tells the judge that Peanut got on the phone and asked "did you kill my mommy?". The attorney said that Peanut is being told things in sessions that are untrue because he said that her mother was a suicide.
He rambled on and on, saying things like: The grandmother is blocking the fathers family from visiting or calling.
This is baloney because they have never called me. I have caller ID and an answering machine. They never have contacted me. I would only let them visit in my home with me there. They don't even send her a birthday card or Christmas card. Then he said that I want to move out of state and I should not be allowed to move.
He also said that he wanted the phone visits to continue from prison. And when Chris gets out of jail he will want to take his daughter back and raise her so they wanted the temporary guardianship to last just till Chris got out. Which he said that Chris will probably only serve 9 months.
I guess to them I am just a babysitter.
Peanut's Attorney spoke next. (Peanut was assigned an attorney by the court. I also have my own attorney separate from Peanut.) Peanut's attorney said that she was against phone visits from the beginning and absolutely does not want any phone visits from jail. She said that Peanut should be with the grandmother. She was really good.
Then my attorney spoke. He said that it was time to give the permanent guardianship. And that I had no problem talking to Chris' family. And that I would stay in California.
The judge listened to everyone, then he said that he grants the permanent guardianship. He said that I was to stay in California, he said Peanut is to remain with her current therapist and there will be no telephonic communication.
After it was all done, the sheriff came and slapped on the handcuffs and took him away. All in front of everyone in the court room. WOW
So we WON. Peanut will be with me till she is 18 by court order, and longer if she wants to. I told her the news and she was so happy. I didn't tell her that her dad was in jail. I want to do that in her therapy session on Friday.
So after 2 years our lives can settle down and the black cloud of Peanut being taken away from me is gone. The dad can try to get her back later but the burden of proving he is capable and that I am no good shifts to him. He would have to go through drug classes and probably parenting classes and pass.
I'm so happy. Yeah!!!!
This photo is from our Christmas trip to Idaho in 2008. Carol & Peanut aka Gramma & GD.
